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SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK 'N' ROLL NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD, [entries|friends|calendar]
boring clichéd self destruction.


Lately I've been wishing I had one desire
Something that would make me never want another
Something that would make it so that nothing mattered
All would be clear then
But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments
And watch it all dissolve into a single second
And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
or one foolish line
'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept
You are here then you're gone

But I believe that lovers should be tied together and
Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
and left there to drown
Left there to drown in their innocence

But as for me I'm coming to the final chapter
I read all of the pages and there is still no answer
Only all that was before I know must soon come after
That is the only way it can be

So I stand in the sun
And I breathe with my lungs
Trying to spare me the weight of the truth
Saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror
And you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever
And now you are laying in a bathtub full of freezing water
Wishing you were a ghost
But once you knew a girl and you named her Lover

And danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer
But autumn came, She disappeared
You can't remember where she said she was going to
But you know that she's gone 'cause she left you a song
That you don't want to sing

We're singing I believe that lovers should be chained together
And thrown into a fire with their songs and letters
And left there to burn
Left there to burn in their arrogance

But as for me I'm coming to my final failure
I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better
But I ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be
Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers
And layed entwined together on a bed of clover
And left there to sleep
Left there to dream of their happiness
.
Lately I've been wishing I had one desire.
Something that would make me never want another.
Something that would make it so that nothing mattered.
All would be clear then.
But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments,
And watch it all dissolve into a single second
And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet or one foolish line.
'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept. You are here then you're gone.
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[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<a baby&message>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<div style="attachment:fixed; position:absolute; top:300; right: 25; width: 295; height: 190px; overflow:auto; border: 0px double #999999; background: white; visibility: visible;"> <marquee direction="up" scrolldelay="130"> <br>Lately I've been wishing I had one desire <br>Something that would make me never want another <br>Something that would make it so that nothing mattered <br>All would be clear then <br>But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments <br>And watch it all dissolve into a single second <br>And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet <br>or one foolish line <br>'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept <br>You are here then you're gone <br> <br>But I believe that lovers should be tied together and <br>Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather <br>and left there to drown <br>Left there to drown in their innocence <br> <br>But as for me I'm coming to the final chapter <br>I read all of the pages and there is still no answer <br>Only all that was before I know must soon come after <br>That is the only way it can be <br> <br>So I stand in the sun <br>And I breathe with my lungs <br>Trying to spare me the weight of the truth <br>Saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror <br>And you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever <br>And now you are laying in a bathtub full of freezing water <br>Wishing you were a ghost <br>But once you knew a girl and you named her Lover <br> <br>And danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer <br>But autumn came, She disappeared <br>You can't remember where she said she was going to <br>But you know that she's gone 'cause she left you a song <br>That you don't want to sing <br> <br>We're singing I believe that lovers should be chained together <br>And thrown into a fire with their songs and letters <br>And left there to burn <br>Left there to burn in their arrogance <br> <br>But as for me I'm coming to my final failure <br>I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better <br>But I ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be <br>Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers <br>And layed entwined together on a bed of clover <br>And left there to sleep <br>Left there to dream of their happiness </marquee></font> </div> <div>.</div> <style type="text/css"> <!-- table table table table .meta {visibility: hidden} table table table table table .meta {visibility: visible} .x { position:absolute; left:0; top:0; z-index: -10; } .shadowed td div { position: absolute; top: 1px } table table table table .meta {visibility: hidden} table table table table table .meta {visibility: visible} --> </style> <!-- Beginning of CSIM --> Lately I've been wishing I had one desire.<br> Something that would make me never want another.<br> Something that would make it so that nothing mattered.<br> All would be clear then.<br> But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments,<br> And watch it all dissolve into a single second<br> And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet or one foolish line.<br> 'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept. <marquee scrolldelay="150">You are here then you're gone.</marquee></center> <center><a href=http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=rosepetals_fall>Info</a><b>|</b><a href=http://www.livejournal.com/users/rosepetals_fall/calendar>Calendar</a><b>|</b><a href=http://www.livejournal.com/users/rosepetals_fall/friends>Friends</a><b>|</b><a href=aim:goim?screenname=shakinXhips baby&message=hey>AIM</a>
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is this really happening? [Thursday
November 20th At 7:58PM]
plastic surgery below the belt (times)Collapse )

what the fuck? why are females so susceptible to social stigma? why do we feel the need to alter our bodies - even our LABIA - to appease others? that's fucking bullshit. why are we (as a whole) constantly becoming more and more self aware? shouldn't we be fighting back? shouldn't we be embracing our bodies instead of tearing them apart and stitching them back together in a "more desirable way"? uuuuuugh

FUCK.
4 Left there to drown in their innocence.

[Sunday
November 2nd At 4:37PM]
DID LIL WAYNE DIE??????????????????????????

http://kineticnorth.com/BBCNews/?NewsGUID=fcf016e0-c92b-445a-aab0-735fdcecf0a3
1 Left there to drown in their innocence.

oh god. [Thursday
November 30th At 1:16AM]
[ mood | okay ]

SO SO TRUE HAHAHAHAHA. ESPECIALLY THE END OF IT.

The Window Shopper
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDf)

Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper.

You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come.

Your exact opposite:
The Stiletto

Deliberate Brutal Sex Master
Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.

Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.


BEWARE: The Hornivore

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy, The Boy Next Door


Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
2 Left there to drown in their innocence.

birthday. [Sunday
June 18th At 3:57PM]
[ mood | happy ]

it's my 18th birthday :].

19 Left there to drown in their innocence.

um AHHH. [Saturday
February 18th At 11:47AM]
[ mood | excited ]

OMG. HEAD FUCKING AUTOMATICA TONIGHT WITH MY BESTEST FRIEND EVER [CHRISTINE YOU ASSHOLES].

THEN GETTING CRUNK AFTER && SPENDING THE ENTIRE NIGHT IN THE BURGH.

I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED. YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BELIIIIIEEEVEEEE.

AWW SHIIIIIIIIIIT.

♥ LIKE A MUTHAFUCKIN' GANGBANG.
6 Left there to drown in their innocence.

[Friday
November 25th At 12:29AM]
happy thanksgiving.

3 Left there to drown in their innocence.

PICTURES FROM THE HEAD AUTOMATICA SHOW FINALLY [Monday
August 8th At 11:05PM]
[ mood | flirty ]

you want nothing to do with meCollapse )

14 Left there to drown in their innocence.

[Sunday
July 31st At 1:27AM]
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment.
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is
A reminder of what I'll never have
I'll never have... I'll never...
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.
But this table for one has become bearable.
I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you.
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
And you let this one person come down, come down.
I cherish you...I cherish you.
Just say you would do the same for me.
Just say you would do the same for me.
Say you would do the same...
Just say you would do the same for me.
For as much as I love Autumn,
I'm giving myself to Ashes.


15 Left there to drown in their innocence.

guess what, bitch. [Wednesday
June 29th At 4:08PM]
[ mood | bored ]

this journal is going to be mostly friends only from now on. i already make a lot of posts friends only, and i don't like not knowing who's reading my shit. i'll make entries public from time to time i suppose, but the majority of this is PFT FRIENDS ONLY. so comment if you want to be added, bitches. you know what to do.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

29 Left there to drown in their innocence.

departure time: 6:15. [Wednesday
June 1st At 9:52PM]
[ mood | anxious ]

i'm leaving tomorrow for las vegas. holy fucking shiiiiiiiiit. this makes me happy. :)

i really need this trip. i've been way too bitchy for my own good. and i know my friends are getting annoyed with me. i'm sure they're talking about me, too, but that's okay. i really do deserve it. it seems like EVERY time i try to say something to just joke around, i sound serious and then i look like a hugeass bitch. ughhhh.

so i'll use these four days to relax. i have all my clothes picked out. so that's good. hoping to meet some new people down there.

i went shopping today. i got a new bathing suit and an awesome shirt. my mom got a new coach purse? haha.

anyway. leave me pretty messages for when i get back. chances are i'll come back to like two comments, but it's all good! ;)

mucho love. ♥

THERE IS BEAUTY IN THE BREAKDOWN.

4 Left there to drown in their innocence.

where is love now? [Tuesday
May 24th At 7:00PM]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

i want:

youCollapse )

19 Left there to drown in their innocence.

time for a change. [Tuesday
May 10th At 10:07PM]
[ mood | hot ]

after i got my hurr did (haha) for prom, i realized i wanted to try and see how it looked with loose curls. soooo i asked my bestest friend, christiney, to do it for me.
and so she came over tonight and did my hair. it's hard adjusting to it cause i'm not used to seeing it in the mirror. hopefully it looks cute tomorrow.



i had so much fun watching the rain today. it was just stunning. downpours like that make me feel so...surreal. i know. weird-sounding.
but i feel like i'm getting a glimpse into heaven.
wow, i'm weird.
on top of it, i love sunny weather and rainy weather. ughhh. make me shut up. ;)



anywho. while christine was here, we listened to feminist music. haha. female empowering music. so now i'm in a "all hate men" mood because they suck.
but i still go after them anyway.


AH TACOS ARE READY. hehe night!

4 Left there to drown in their innocence.

[Thursday
May 5th At 7:50PM]
[ mood | sleepy ]

i wish you were a door.




why..?




so i could bang you all night.


ha ha. thank you and goodnight.

17 Left there to drown in their innocence.

[random] [Monday
May 2nd At 9:33PM]
[ mood | nerdy ]

ADRIAN, WILL YOU BE MY HUSBAND?








reasons why you should be:
1. we rule ass.
2. i lover you.
3. we rule ass.
4. we rape brad pitt's ass.
5. i promise you a hawt love shack.
6. i'll sing the love shack song to you.
7. you and i are uberdacious.
8. you and i are radical.
9. you make me talk like a valley girl, and i heart it.
10. i heart you.
11. you didn't give me my mixed tape since august ;).
12. i haven't sent you your letter since two weeks ago. ;)
13. WE RULE ASS.
14. i lover you.

:D hahaha adrian i hearttttt you! ♥

6 Left there to drown in their innocence.

a pass through the exterior. [Sunday
May 1st At 3:55PM]
[ mood | bored ]

you know you want to read this ish.

bitch pleaseCollapse )

10 Left there to drown in their innocence.

read this or i'll fucking kill you. [Saturday
April 23rd At 10:10PM]
[ mood | shocked ]

Ode to the Nice Girls
This rant was written because a nice girl finally snapped.


I've read the tribute to the nice guys; this is my response.

This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don't understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)

25 Left there to drown in their innocence.

it never hurt anybody. [Thursday
April 7th At 12:00AM]
[ mood | annoyed ]

ugh, i am thorougly annoyed. i think it might be with people in general...or maybe it's certain people. because i've been getting ticked off at certain people but i think i'm just being moody. maybe it's how they're acting that's pissing me off...i don't know.

a list of things not to do to me:
-act like you care when you don't.
-expect me to be happy just because you are.
-tell me you'll be there when you won't be.
-ditch me.
-make me jealous. [oh i know you can so control this :sarcasm:]
-piss me off.
-taunt me.
-act fake towards me.
-give me dirty looks when i say things you think are stupid or disagree with.
-treat me like a piece of shit.
-not pay attention when i'm really going to you for something.
-ignore the fact that i'm really not in a good mood and keep talking about yourself anyhow.

anyway. that's a short list of things not to do.

i think i'm just being moody. maybe i need a break from some things. who knows.

i'm going to go now. homework is screaming my name.

ps; i love my manicure and pedicure. even though i used to hate those things, i'm actually starting to like it and actually act...girly. shocked? yeah, me, too.

11 Left there to drown in their innocence.

teach me how to fly. [Tuesday
March 29th At 11:21PM]
[ mood | full ]

i'm leaving for new york city tomorrow morning. well, i'm leaving at six in the morning to go to connecticut. after connecticut, i'm venturing over to new york city to do some shopping at macy's and such. thursday is business in new york city. then thursday night i am going to a "little india." my mom and i are going to try to go to the today show in the morning. i wonder if we'll be on tv...hmmm. anywho. then on friday my mom is taking me to visit my sister in pittsburgh. and i'll be there until saturday night. thennnn home. seems like i'm going to be pretty busy...so leave me pretty messages for when i get back! this journal entry was so bland...and so...

here's a little piece of realityCollapse )

14 Left there to drown in their innocence.

she's not glass. [Friday
March 25th At 3:20PM]
[ mood | chipper ]

hey guys. i just wanted to say that i hope everyone has a super uberdacious spring break :). i know we all need at least that much. :) ♥ like fuckin' woah.

why do your eyes paralyze me
what makes me feel this way
just carry me away with silence and heartbeats
as rapid thinking about your embrace
and how it makes me feel
i just want to feel this way forever
sleep on portraits painted as perfect as you
why have i been given the chance to fly
when i'm not with you i feel lesser alone
i remember your face // imprinted on angels
your voice as beautiful // as the sounds of waves
crashing against my heart
time slows down when you look at me
i'm infatuated with this // infatuated with you
it's so hard for me to understand why
i hadn't found you before
don't dull away
hold my hand
6 Left there to drown in their innocence.

venting is good for the soul. [Wednesday
March 23rd At 10:20PM]
[ mood | good ]

and
i
kissed
you
in
a
style
that
clark gable
would
admire.

i thought it classic.
10 Left there to drown in their innocence.

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